I am not sure I want to continue. I have a lot of story left to tell. Not having my parents had a huge impact on my life. More than that my Grandma had a huge impact because she always knew exactly what was best for me. I want to share what an amazing, Christian woman she was. Her faith in God changed everything for me.
But there are so many other things that my telling of events involves. There are just some things that were so impactful, but I don’t feel it’s fair for me to share.
From my travels and my age, I have come to realize and understand so much about my life and the people in it.
So at this point I want to just share something that came to me a week or so ago in the middle of the night. Since my trip I have been trying to put into words what happened to me and for me. It is so life changing in a very good and powerful way. What I need you to understand first though is that I have had such a beautiful life so far. I have been loved so much by so many. I have been blessed more than I could ever deserve. I have everything I need and so much more. I say this with gratitude only.

I have 2 analogies that came to me one night randomly and they both fit so well. The first is me doing a jigsaw puzzle. I started the day I was born and it has thousands and thousands of pieces. There are so many beautiful colors and patterns representing my life. But down on the right hand corner there is one piece missing. I continue to work the puzzle as new pieces are given to me. But anyone who knows about doing puzzles knows how frustrating it is to be missing a piece. As I continue it seems God hands me each piece just when I need it and it is amazing!! The day Jay and I were in Arcata, California, it was the only place on our trip I felt disconnected. I felt alone except for Jay. I felt a cloud over us and nothing felt meant to be. I felt like God, my Mom and my Grandma, my Dad who had felt so close before, had said “You have to do this on your own. We can not be with you through this. It is for you to experience.” I turned to Jay at a certain point and said “Can we please just get out of here!! I just want to go home and hug my family!!” And in my heart it was at that moment God handed me the missing piece for the corner. My heart was full and that missing piece was filled. I have never had such a peaceful feeling and it has stuck with me ever since. I have been trying to put that in to feelings and words. I have always been guided by my feelings and this is so huge for me.

The second analogy that also came that night, I believe was because of my good friend, Connie, who is a weaver, and also a card I received when my
Grandma passed away. I see a loom weaving and it is just gorgeous. All types of colors and threads are through it all. And the shuttle continues to weave representing my life. But it could never be finished because back at the beginning there were a few rows of weaving missing, making a gap. Again, I felt like, as I turned to Jay and said “Can we please just get out of here!! I just want to go home and hug my family!!” the shuttle went back to the beginning and filled in the gap. Completing my weaving and giving me peace to complete my life.

The card I received said we can only see the underside of the weaving while on earth, but once we see the top we will understand all the colors and their meaning. There will be dark colors, bright colors and strands of silver and gold. We can only imagine.

I have a few other ideas of things I might blog about. I have enjoyed writing. But I am just in such a place of peace and love that I just want to see more of my family, this country and spend time doing the things Jay and I love and enjoy.

Thank you to everyone who came along on my journey and prayed for us. I am not the same person I was when I started this. It was so much more than I ever dreamed. And every part of it was in God’s timing. Just as my entire life has been.

Again I have to end by saying “Love your people!! Forgive, even when you feel you were wronged.” Life is so short and uncertain. Do not be left with regrets.